[x]

Agoraphobic
He would often catch the coursers of a newly printed page
or lock upon the wingspan of departing poetry.

But once the years corroded and the pages crumbled,
fantasizing was no longer enough

Soon he found that these shallow fabrications had all the depth
of a black and white page.

I Hope You Haven'tHave you ever
Felt pain to the point
You are entirely numb
And can no longer tell
Nor care
That you are not breathing?

Have you ever
Been so hopelessly in love
That when he was gone
You were left with a hole
Where your heart should be?

Has the idea of happiness
Ever seemed so far away
That you thought
You would never reach it?

Have you ever
Thought you were worthless
So much that you
Lost the desire for life?

I hope you haven't felt the way I did.

LiesLife can be cruel, I know
I'm sad and depressed but I don't want to show.
And I don't want that you see
how much even little words are hurting me.

I'm crying every night
And I know it isn't right.
But I try to hide my sad face with a smile
Even if I want to scream and cry.

Look into my eyes and tell me what you see
You think you see me happy?
You're wrong I'm not happy anymore
I'm getting depressed more and more.

I wish I would never wake up
Because I know my depressions won't stop.
Look deeper in my tearfully eyes
And finally you see, I'm not happy.

I'm lying every day
I do it in my own way
I try to smile
I'm doing it now

Your StoryI'd much rather cry for you
'Cause my story is too painful to share
I'd much rather smile for you
'Cause my story is too painful to bare

So come here and I'll wrap my arms around you
Come here and I'll let your story shine
But after you share your story
Please don't ask me about mine

If only I could play the violin
I'd share my past through sorrowful chords
Vibrato on strings would be my voice
Fighting my demons with imaginary swords

Although I'm limited to words on paper
And the words aren't sung by a beautiful voice
These words make my story into a song
And this song confronts you with a choice

You can close your eyes
And p

DeceptionA rubber band on my wrist,
A fake smile blurred over my mouth,
The words "I'm fine" are really a shout.
You have no idea what it means,
I hide it all so well,
But not everything's always as it seems.
Fooled by deception, fooled by lies,
The invisible mask is a great disguise.
Clever I am, clever I'm not,
The truth is what's being sought.

The War Is Over NowHe sits and looks out into the streets
To the nurses and staff he waves and greets.
The war is over now.

He limps and attends their memory mass
And lays flowers on the monument grass.
The war is over now.

He shines up and hides every medal
And puts on the lonely whining kettle.
The war is over now.

He sits bolt up at the heart of night
And clutches at his sheets in fright.
The war is never over.

Oh you singing chimesOh, you sad sad chimes stop singing
This awful tune of grief
For him the bell tolled and now's ringing
You mourn for my fiancé's thief
He paid for his crime with his life
My gun took his away
The woman I love will be my wife
So sad chimes, sing joyfully today

Oh you mourning chimes do sing on
And I will sing along
For him to grim death's sad melody
The victim of jelousy
My love for him became his doom
By the gun of my groom
Like the smoke his life faded away
Oh, you sad sad chimes sing on today

Oh you sad sad chimes will you fade
Today's a day of joy
Since at dawn two men met at the glade
And dead is who me does cloy

Words Unspoken"Hey, what's the matter?"

'Everything.
Everything is falling apart
And I know in my heart
Nothing is alright
I try and struggle and fight,
But nothing is as planned,
Like winds stealing sand,
It's all gone at the end of the day,
And I just need someone to tell me it's okay'

"Nothing."

The Tearful SirenThe Tearful Siren

Perched atop jagged sorrows, beyond endless seas,

Sits the Siren, who sings in seeping melancholy.

She caresses her hips of that of Aphrodite's,

With lips of honey and a mind of sulphur.

Revered was her voice that drifts in dismal fogs,

For as the Siren's song approaches, a portent of doom.

She tearfully obeys the dogma of destruction and cruelty,

As commanded by the gods of tainted Olympus.

Pitiful were mortals who fall to her dangerous melodies.

When she looks on to the raging fires, she slowly weeps

She quietly sighs in blissful sadness, aware of violent deeds.

The infinite oceans grasp at her sacred tears, il

SoldSold
A mist rises up,
A footprint in the sand,
"I'm going to find you."
A shower of gold,
That's the cost.
My hand clenches,
Into slavery once again I'm sold,
A slave who raids,
A slave who spies,
A slave who has only two things to say,
"Yes."
"No."

RepossessionYour words tore into my abdomen like vultures feeding on
the raw emotion their filthy wings stirred up from the dust.

My ribs cracked from the blow.

But, I think sometimes
of how these were the ribs
that should have chased you away from me,
quietly wondering how you managed to
slither past this cage of bone and flesh
to engrave your fingerprints into my marrow.

You were sweat & spice & scars-

Your eyes,
a thunderstorm of black and blue sex
jarring and devouring my insides,
shaped a faithless religion
through the cracks & broken shards
of my hollowed out womb.

(I want my insides back.)

Just to FeelI would cut
just to feel the pain
just to know
that my life was worth it

Every inch on my arm
every inch on my leg
I would cut
just to feel the pain deep inside

To watch the blood pour down
to cry in happiness
I would cut
just to know that I still feel

Cutting my skin
burning it completely
I would suffer in agony
just to see if I still feel

Every scar that is there
every inch that I cut
it just proves
how much my life was worth it

I would cut
just to feel the pain
to know that Im still alive
to know that I still feel

Feeling of pain
feeling of torture
I would cut
to know that I still feel
In this world...

Water Bomb"Water Bomb"

Everyday my little boat
Becomes filled with more and more water
My shoes are starting to get soaked
Like lambs unaware in the slaughter
There seems to be some kind of hole
Just big enough for water to get through
The hole isn't big by any means
But I don't know what to do
And everyday my little boat
Sinks deeper and deeper in the sea
I can't rewrite the script I wrote
I can't undo what is to be
The hole now becoming cracks
I tried to plug with paint and clay
With barrels full of whole grain sacks
But even still the boat decayed
And I just can't stop this water
From seeping in little by little
Every damn crack a

FifteenThe blushing crows
Land on my clothes.
They tease my ears
With regrets and fears.

So I suppose
This is how my life goes.

Purples, blues, greens, yellows…
It's something that I never chose.

My eyes squeeze shut.
Another cut.

I mend and stitch
The holes and splits–
The ones I etched
And the ones you stretched.

Six hundred pounds of flesh
Resting upon my chest.
It's harder to catch my breath.
I hope this is not my death.

The worms withdraw
While the vultures claw
And begin to gnaw
At my limbs of straw

My skin bursts open
To release words unspoken.

Down the street
Tires scream
Headlights creep.
A young teen

MyiagrosYou went quietly
Like granite with finesse
Days and nights
The come down monster

I had a drink
Six, seven, eight more
Always and sometimes
Completely nothing

The weeks of illness
Before it pulled your eyes shut
No small talk
Just plain, empty time

I walked to the store for smokes
Struggled not to howl
There was fly paper nailed to the register
Legs still moving

And I knew what they were buzzing for
Hell had found you first

Browse More Like This

Download File
HTML, 627 bytes more ▶

More from ~AbandonedAmbition

Mind Games Ch.4Chapter 4: Bluff

Nothing made sense.

I pushed open the door to see a handful of others milling about in the hallway at this somewhat early hour. I decided to head back to that guidance counselor to make sense of that dream, even if he did freak me out a bit. I couldn't exactly remember my way back, so it took a couple minutes of ambling unknowingly through several corridors. Eventually I found his office again.

"Hello, what can I do for you?" the slowking asked coolly, with a fixed, piercing gaze to match.

"Well, apparently I was talking to a stress-induced visual representation of my subconscious in my dream…am I crazy?"

He stared

KOH-Checkmate"Ohhhh…what happened?"

"What, you don't remember, Alex?"

"Sam is that you?" I looked up to see my friend, who appeared infinitely taller, as I was laying face-down against the cold, tiled floor. I picked myself up, and my thoughts began to come together. "Why didn't we just use the door?" I asked. Sam and I always did this. Due to the fact that he is a cofagrigus, he can transport me through walls with his ghostly abilities when I climb inside his sarcophagus body. The downside is that it usually incurred temporary memory loss and haziness of vision. That's just a side effect though. I'll never understand how ghosts function.

"Door's

SacrificeOh you sweet little thing,
The time has come.
To sacrifice you to the Great Pit of Acid

Oh you sweet little thing,
Don't cry your crystal tears of pure white
I'm sure you'll be perfect.

Oh you sweet little thing,
I'm sure you'll appease the Great Pit of Acid,
And it will cease its violent tremors

Oh you sweet little thing,
The time has come
To descend into the darkness
And meet your fate.

Zero SumWe are all nothing
We have always been nothing
We will always be nothing

I have nothing in my veins
I have nothing in my heart
I have nothing in this shell
To stop me falling apart

We are all nothing
We have always been nothing
We will always be nothing

In the beginning there was nothing,
Then perhaps,
Perhaps
There was something
Albeit briefly,
But it is nothing now
Here, now-
Both nothingness

We are all nothing
We have always been nothing
We will always be nothing

We were created of nothingness
And when we reach the ultimate state of nothingness
There will be nothing waiting for us
Because deep down,

We are all nothing

I'm Not an ArtistI'm simply a flower that hasn't bloomed yet,
The Spring I'm waiting for is just around-

No.
Fuck this.
I'm not an artist.
This is not art.
To say otherwise would be a mockery to the art of, well, art

I try, but everything fades.
Lines fade.
Colors fade.
Ideas fade.
Dreams fade.
And I'll fade too someday.

View Gallery

Featured in Groups:

#writeaway
Find Your Inner Voice

#BleedingHeartsPoetry
A Poetry Club

#theWrittenRevolution
The words are the spark.

#Emo-Poet-Society

#Amateur-Writing
Writing for amateurs

#imreallyNOTokay
... trust me!

#Poets-and-Warriors
Memory Tattoos & Scar Tissue

#Wielders-of-the-Pen

Show all (12)

Details

Submitted: October 1, 2012
File Size: 627 bytes
Submitted with: Sta.sh

Link

Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 61
Favourites: 117 [who?]
Views: 1,060 (0 today)
Downloads: 15 (0 today)

[x]

Mask

by ~AbandonedAmbition, Oct 1, 2012, 3:58:55 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Have you ever worn a mask for so long
That you're afraid to take it off,
And breathe in the purity
Of the unfiltered world outside?
Would your lungs be able to take it?
Or burst trying?

Have you ever worn a mask for so long
That you're afraid to take it off
Because no one might recognize you?
Would you recognize yourself?

Have you ever worn a mask for so long
That you're afraid to take it off,
Because you don't know anymore
If there's anything underneath?

Maskby ~AbandonedAmbition

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

For everything I say, there are about a thousand more things I want to say.

EDIT: Whoa, thanks everyone out there for the faves! Glad you liked it!I have some other poems like this and will continue writing poetry

---

What do you like/dislike about this piece?

I'm having some issues with "purity" in line 3. Do you get what I'm saying with that? I would appreciate suggestions on how to revise that for a clearer understanding.

Do you think that repeating the first line in each stanza is beneficial to the piece?

I feel that the end is lacking somewhat. Do you think that a last final line could be added to better anchor the piece as a whole? If so, do you have any suggestions?

Be honest. I write a lot of teenage, angst-driven garbage. Does this piece escape that label?

---

You know what you should do?
Go check out Totems and Godhood [link] by =AzizrianDaoXrak. I offered a critique of the beautiful piece here [link] which I challenge you to evaluate.
And also visit

'kay?

love 6 6

~~joy 0 0~~

wow 1 1

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~DarkCloudAssasin Apr 28, 2013 Student Writer

I like this piece a lot

it speaks out to those who understand what it means to wear a mask. It speaks to those who understand pain and wants to keep away from that pain. Hurt them first before they hurt you, and just when you realize it's time to take the mask off, the mask has become you.

That's what I get out of it ^-^ lovely poem, I'm gonna check out your work

~AbandonedAmbition Apr 29, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Extremely accurate interpretation.

Glad you enjoyed it!

Thanks so much! I hope to post some more poetry in the upcoming future if possible.

~DarkCloudAssasin Apr 30, 2013 Student Writer

I'm really looking forward to it

~ChemicalBlaze Dec 5, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Angst to me is a very overused word these days, and it never sounds good in your mouth when you say it. Even though it's a word some would reserve for the "sensitive" ones, it's an experience we all share.

This is a great poem overall, very powerful. The several lines say so much more than what's written. Where there's just so much hoopla about putting one on and keeping up a façade, it's rare for me to see a writer musing about whether to actually remove it. As for your questions, what you're trying to communicate is clear to me, but I think when it comes to the ending you could possibly expand on what *could* be left underneath, unless you want to maintain the mystery.

~AbandonedAmbition Dec 5, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Thanks a lot!

I never considered that...maybe it's what I was looking for, thanks.

~ChemicalBlaze Dec 6, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Beautiful writing, love. Don't ever stop.

Elle

~SoldiersWolf Nov 30, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

I lived for awhile where I was afraid of getting close to people when I younger. So I can relate. I liked almost everything

Line three some people might say its bland or doesn't ring true to them. Is unfiltered air pure or dirty? Depends on what kind of mind set you have really. Is the air you breath in your mask going to be tainted by the outside or is your air going to taint the air around you. Maybe im thinking to much and over rationalizing things.

I like the repeat of the first line in this case because its like taking deep breaths.

The last line is good and the last stanza with it wraps up your piece quite nicely.

Every one matures at their own pace its's one of those things I've learned to accept as it is. You'll never excape who you are from yourself whether you have a mask or not.

=BlackBlossomJewelry Nov 27, 2012 Student Artisan Crafter

I really like how this poem is nice and short. It's not too long and it kept me interested. I think the word "purity" fits in nicely with the piece and its surrounding lines. Although the piece feels unfinished, in my opinion, it does need an "anchor" but I'm not really sure of one. I would like to give some advice on the punctuation, but it isn't really my thing. It's a little confusing because some lines have a period of question mark or comma but others are left blank. I hope this helps!

~JagJag09 Nov 10, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

this poem has a good theme that I can relate to

I think the repetition of the first line really adds to the feel of this being like a string of thought.
With this kind of poem though, I would have used different wording, but that's my opinion. If not minor wording changes throughout the poem, probably the last couple of lines. You meant "breathe" but spelled "breath", but I'm not going to make a big deal out of that.
All in all, I really like this poem; it has a deep message, and I look forward to reading more of your work

Great job!

~AbandonedAmbition Nov 10, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Hey, thanks a lot!

Thanks for catching that error X_X

Glad you like it!

More from ~AbandonedAmbition

Featured in Groups:

Details

Statistics

Mask

Maskby ~AbandonedAmbition

The Journal Portal

Polls

What is your preferred drawing software?

deviantART [dee·vee·un'nt·ART]

Keep in Touch!

Deviousness

Add Media

Style